A blog about bringing more happiness and joy into our lives

Eating healthy foods is only a small part of really eating healthy!

2012-01-24T18:23:00.000+01:00

One of my new year's resolutions was to eat more healthy. So I cut down on stuff like sweets, cola drinks, alcohol and increased the amount of vegetables, fruits, high-quality juices, wholewheat grains, nuts, beans, etc., in my diet. Basically no brainer stuff, but surprisingly hard to do. But the more I thought about healthy eating, the more convinced I became that eating healthy foods is only a small part of really eating healthy! By that I mean that I believe that just as important is eating slowly, fully chewing the food, eating fully concentrated (i.e., not reading or watching TV while eating), eating with appreciation for the food itself and for the energy contained in the food, savoring each food's different taste and smell, and so on. I really believe that in today's high-paced world we have lost much of these aspects of eating healthy, which were probably once as natural as breathing deeply or getting lots of movement. However, at least in my experience, these non-food aspects of eating healthy are even harder to do than eating the right foods. Anyway, I just wanted this post to be a "hmm, lemme think about that for a while" kind of post, rather than a "this is what I think everyone should do" kind of post. So, what do you think about this? Are there are other factors of eating healthy that I've missed? And how important do you think they really are? I am curious to hear your thoughts. Tomas

A fantastic song for this time of year

2011-12-30T17:42:00.002+01:00

Just heard this 2010 song by Annie Lennox and thought it was absolutely perfect for this time of year... and going forward in 2012. It's called The Universal Child:

And here are the lyrics, I believe composed by Annie herself, should you be interested:

How many mountains must you face before you learn to climb.
I'm gonna give you what it takes, my universal child.

I'm gonna try to find a way to keep you safe from harm.
I'm gonna be a special place, a shelter from the storm.
And I can see you, you’re everywhere, your portrait fills the sky.
I'm gonna wrap my arms around you, my universal child.

And when I look into your eyes, so innocent and pure.
I see the shadow of the things that you've had to endure.
I see the tracks of every tear that ran ran down your face.
I see the hurt, I see the pain, I see the human race.
I can feel you, you’re everywhere, shining like the sun.
And I wish to God that kids like you could be like everyone.

How many tumbles must it take before you learn to fly.
I'm going to help you spread your wings, my universal child.

I can feel you everywhere shining like the sun.
And I wish to God that kids like you could be like everyone.
And I wish to God that kids like you could be like everyone.

Is this what pure joy looks like?

2011-12-20T14:38:00.004+01:00

This is about as close as I've seen!

2012: Let's live in a way that does not infringe on the rights of future generations

2011-12-18T21:14:00.000+01:00

Recently while working on a translation assignment, I came across some incredible words about the currently popular topic of "sustainable development". I found the words so pertinent to today's situation on planet Earth that I want them to be the last words on this blog before I wish everyone a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. These words will certainly inspire me greatly as I think about my priorities for 2012.

Permanently sustainable development - or more precisely, way of life - is focused on the search for harmony between man and nature, between society and its environment, so that we come as close as possible to the ideals of humanism and reverence for life and nature in all of its forms and in all time horizons. It is a way of life that searches for balance between the freedoms and rights of each individual and his/her responsibility towards other people and nature as a whole, including responsibility towards the future generations. We should adopt the principle that the freedom of every individual ends not only where the freedom of another individual begins, but also where the destruction of nature begins. Let's live so that in satisfying our needs, we do not infringe on the rights of those that come after us.

JOSEF VAVROUŠEK (15.9.1944 – 19.3.1995) - the first Czechoslovakian Minister of the Environment

Charlie Chaplin's speech in The Great Dictator

2011-10-21T20:37:00.000+02:00

Wow, I had no idea Charlie Chaplin had this dimension to him. Also amazing how this speech is so relevant to today...

10 easy steps to relaxation

2011-08-21T16:02:00.000+02:00

Today's aktualne.cz online daily published (in Czech) a great 10-step guide to relaxing, so because ability to relax is so important for living a happy life, I am taking a liberty of providing a translation below. I hope you enjoy it and actually find the time to use it :-)
--------
Take a look at dogs - they use as many moments as possible for relaxing. Relaxing the body soon results in a relaxed mind. Try it like the dogs do, experts say!

Pick a calm, quiet place, where nobody will disturb you.

Start breathing as slowly and deeply as possible. The breathing should be calm and regular.

Before you begin, do a few excercise to remove any muscle tension.

Get comfortable - sit or lay down.

Slightly tighten and then relax all body parts, one by one: start with the tips of your toes and continue up to the head and face.

Concentrate on each body part, and think about heat, heaviness and relaxation.

Banish all thoughts that may disturb you: imagine how they are physically floating away.

Do not try to consciously relax your mind, just focus on the gradual relaxing of muscle groups.

Remain like this for at least 20 minutes. Then take a few deep breaths and open your eyes. But remain seated or lying down before you get up. And again think of a dog or another animal: before they get up, they always stretch out thoroughly.

Standing in the light | OdeWire

2011-08-14T11:02:00.000+02:00

Interesting insights into human health. Plus a great story of a man working hard trying to make the world a better place. OdeWire does make for inspiring reading!

Standing in the light | OdeWire

Thus have I read: Dusk on the River

2011-08-05T21:51:00.001+02:00

Aaah, here's a cool little story by Pema Chodron:

Thus have I read: Dusk on the River

God doesn't work in mysterious ways. We do. God simply is.

2011-08-02T09:22:00.005+02:00

Lately I've been hearing the term "God works in mysterious ways" a lot. Or maybe I've just been noticing it a lot. At any rate, I started pondering this and suddenly realized that I don't think God works in mysterious ways at all. I believe that God simply "is", does his thing, and lets us do our thing (within a given set of physical and spiritual laws). And it's us that works in mysterious ways. It's a partnership that keeps the world (in a broader sense) going forward. And in this partnership we attribute a lot to God, which we should actually attribute to ourselves. Perhaps it's a self-defense mechanism of trying to reduce our own responsibility for the almost infinite power that we really do have. Brings to mind Nelson Mandela's famous quote: "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure."

And by the way, do you know how Mandela's quote continues? How about this: " It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

Wow.

Powerfull stuff, that can sometimes be confusing. So what should I do, people sometimes ask. If I may offer a piece of advice that I got from a native American woman shaman, how about: "When in doubt, choose love". That always seems to work out well in the long-run...

A big lesson from my eight month old son on perspective shifts

2011-07-27T16:24:00.000+02:00

A couple of days ago I was doing the laundry while I was home alone with my now eight month old son Tobias. He was awake and in full activity mode when the laundry finished. He loves observing whenever we do something he hasn't seen before, so I placed him in a child seat from which he could watch me take the clothes out of the washing machine and put them on the clothes drying rack outside. I was a bit tired and in a bit of a rush, so when I noticed that in spite of carefull inspection before putting the clothes into the washing machine, a paper tissue had somehow gotten into the machine and of course ended up in hundreds of small bits all over the wet clothes, I got quite upset inside. So trying to hide my anger, I started to whip the clothes around one by one in order to get the paper bits off. And whadyaknow, Tobias started laughing as he thought it was something fun to do! Boy what a shift of perspective that was for me! I started laughing too and pretty soon it really was a fun thing to do! And in a couple of minutes all the bits were gone and I thanked Tobi for the big lesson he taught me - I can shift my perspective like that any time I want!

The top 5 regrets people have on their deathbed

2011-06-17T14:02:00.000+02:00

Wow, another super powerful article I just came across at thenextweb.com. Here's the quick summary of the top five regrets people have on their deathbed:

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
2. I wish I didn’t work so hard.
3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

And my wish is that all of us allow at least a little bit of all of the five wishes above into our lives!

Is "Do what you love" the worst career advice ever?

2011-06-03T17:20:00.000+02:00

Anyone pondering what to do next in life may enjoy this fascinating blog post by Penelope Trunk: Bad career advice: Do what you love.

An interesting presentation about how sitting may actually be killing you...

2011-05-16T21:37:00.004+02:00

Fascinating stuff - sitting may be killing you!

A short presentation that I came across by being a fan of Dan Millman on Facebook. If you don't want to go through the entire (but short) presentation, just know that it's a good idea to interrupt sitting whenever possible and stretch, walk, do jumping jacks, whatever, just to get the blood flowing again. The human body simply wasn't made for sitting...

Messages to healthy women - what they would have done differently before their cancer

2011-04-16T17:25:00.003+02:00

The strongest stuff is sometimes found in the least likely of places, which was definitely the case with this powerful article. I saw a fragment of it on my friend's refrigerator, and ended up googling it down to a Czech fashion magazine. The article discusses what female cancer survivors would have changed in their lives now that they know what they know. I found the article so captivating (and important!) that I took the liberty of doing a fast translation into English and posting the result below. But as a quick summary, here are the common themes:

sleep, rest and relax more
don't put so much on your plate
spend more time with family
start putting yourself first
do not neglect ordinary illnesses (listen to the body)
don't be such a perfectionist
learn how to say "No" more often
and probably above all, like yourself more!

So basically nothing new, radical or surprising. How many times have most of us heard this stuff before? But are we doing it? Will we really need to experience a serious illness or crisis before we really do this stuff? Why is it so hard to actually listen to advice like this? As I have struggled with these issues as well -- and I believe that I have made lots of positive progress on them thanks to fabulous teachers -- I hope that through my blog I can provide some information and inspiration for how to actually begin with this stuff. Or how to get even better at it. Because I truly do believe that taking these messages seriously is extremely important!

=============================================================

MESSAGES TO HEALTHY WOMEN – WHAT I WOULD HAVE DONE DIFFERENTLY BEFORE MY CANCER…

Eat lots of vegetables, don’t smoke and exercise regularly -- we already know all that. But what would fifteen women really have done differently than before when they found out they have cancer? We asked them. It’s clear to them now.

Author: Marianne, Dana Mertová | 19. 02. 2009

Sleep and rest more
“I wouldn’t get so stressed out about every little thing or human stupidity. Lots of people can really hurt you mentally and actually get a kick out of it.
I would also sleep at least eight hours per day and rest if I had just gone through a difficult time at work. It’s good to ‘turn off’ for some time and just do what you enjoy, take a walk or spend time with the family.”
Iveta, 37

Don’t be just a “good girl”
“I realized that my life is only my own and my decisions have the same weight as everyone else’s. I can always say my opinion, even if the others don’t like it. Before, I tried to act like a ‘good girl’, but I only suffered as a result of this. I also try to delegate more duties to my family. Not to grandmas and grandpas, but to my children and my husband. And, strangely enough, they are handling it patiently. But unfortunately I have to say that we realize these ‘truths’ only after we experience an illness. I would have never thought like this when I was healthy. Too bad.”
Věra, 33

Don’t put so much on your plate
“I would have chosen my tasks much more carefully and I wouldn’t have put so much on my plate. When you get the needed perspective, you discover that it doesn’t make any sense anyway. I also easily absorbed stress and nervousness from my surroundings. So today I am a freelancer, I work at home and that’s ideal for me. I am calm, focused, and I decide what I will do and how and when I will do it.”
Eva, 53

Don’t cry over spilled milk
“Today I know that life should be taken seriously, but with reserves. Avoid stressful events and search for all positive things that excite us. Don’t cry over spilled milk and search for joy and satisfaction.”
Jarka, 65

Start putting yourself first
“Before my illness, I subordinated my life to my handicapped daughter who is in a wheelchair. Personal life and interests went aside. I lived in permanent stress whether everything would go well, whether my daughter wouldn’t get ill, whether I would be able to take care of her. I knew that I had to slow down and start thinking about myself, but I didn’t know how to do it.”
Marta, 51

Do not neglect the flu
“I would never neglect ‘ordinary’ flus, colds or other illnesses. It’s not heroism, but risking one’s health. Illnesses should be spent in bed. And I would definitely not smoke -- I quite before my first chemotherapy. And I don’t miss it.”
Ivana, 54

Don’t rush
“I didn’t smoke, I ate healthily, did sports and had a great man beside me. So where was the mistake? I didn’t want to notice fatigue -- hooray to events, sports, job, household work. Flus, colds, but mainly constant allergies -- I didn’t pay attention to any of them. If I could turn back time, I would listen much more to my body and what it’s telling me. Now I spoil myself, never rush, continue eating healthily, and I’ve also learned to rest and not stress out that I am behind on some things.”
Klára, 34

Don’t be so demanding
“What I would have done differently:
✔ Above all: I would like myself more.
✔ I would say “no” more often and I would not back down.
✔ I would work on healthy self-confidence.
✔ I wouldn’t be so anxiously precise, conscientious.
✔ I wouldn’t take unfulfilled expectations so seriously.
✔ I would learn how to make decisions that are unpleasant and uncomfortable for my surroundings.
✔ I wouldn’t be afraid of radical solutions.
✔ I wouldn’t be so demanding of my family and friends.
✔ I would free myself from the words ‘I have to’.
✔ I would learn to rest more…”
Hana, 54

Learn how to cry
“The first thing that I had to learn was how to receive help -- and not feel badly. Then I learned how to cry. I finally allowed myself to do it. There simply came a moment when it suddenly went by itself. At first I was really upset and I complained to my psychologist, who asked astonished: And you don’t normally cry? Suddenly tears started flowing like a current, there was no stopping them, and it was a great relief.”
Jana, 57

Don’t be afraid of cancer
“Above all, I wouldn’t lose a single moment sitting somewhere in a corner scared that I could get cancer. That is why I advise all women to regularly self-examine their breasts, have their mammogram or similar medical check-ups, live life to the fullest and take life as it is.”
Jana, 21

Think about what you eat
“I came to the hospital as a smoker and left as a non-smoker. I also do not avoid the opinions of alternative medicine, so I learned that an over-acidic body is a breeding ground for cancer, and conversely, that cancer cells cannot grow in an alkaline environment. It is in the interest of people’s health to reassess the foods they eat.”
Eva, 68

Don’t be so responsible
“Only today am I able to assume the ‘it’ll work out somehow’ stance. I don’t consider it as irresponsible as before, but I do try to do my best so ‘it’ works out as best as possible. Before my illness my excessive feeling of responsibility was a frequent cause of unpleasant stress (and now I know that this was unnecessary).”
Zuzana, 47

Don’t smoke
“I didn’t stop smoking even after my cervical spine surgery. Today I know that it’s just a bad habit. I definitely wouldn’t deal with my stress and problems using this ‘vice’. Other than that, I wouldn’t change a thing, even though life is not without its problems.”
Dana, 73

Relax
“If I would have met myself years ago, I would have said: Relax, the world will continue even without you. The only thing you should and can change is your own life. So go for it, while you have time! Today I try to be aware of what is really happening, what is and what is not important, how I am really feeling and therefore who I really am.”
Pavla, 40

Go see a psychiatrist
“If I were to give advice to someone, I would say that they should handle difficult life situations with an expert, psychiatrist, even at the price of taking medicaments. I would also watch out for genetic burden in the family. I would also like myself more.”
Jana, 67

Dare-change: a cool short video (with great audio) on facing one's fears

2011-04-07T09:46:00.001+02:00

"If" - by Rudyard Kipling

2011-04-03T12:15:00.001+02:00

Just had to post this well-known and awesome poem that gives me tons of inspiration whenever I need it (and has even more meaning for me now that I have a four month old son...). Also took the liberty of highlighting my favorite parts -- specially the part about triumph and disaster has to be some of the greatest poetry ever written, IMHO:

"If"

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you
But make allowance for their doubting too,
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream--and not make dreams your master,
If you can think--and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings--nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much,
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And--which is more--you'll be a Man, my son!

By Rudyard Kipling (1865-1936).

The battle between the two wolves in our minds

2011-02-21T10:57:00.002+01:00

Many of you have seen this very short story before, but I just came across it again this past weekend and thought that it's worth mentioning again. It has a way of popping up at the right times in my life, and I certainly benefit greatly every time I see it:

One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes
on inside people. He said, "My son, the battle is between 2 wolves.

One is Evil. It is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance,
self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride,
superiority, and ego.

The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility,
kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and
faith."

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his
grandfather, "Which wolf wins?"

The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one you feed."

The art of making a little Sunday every day

2011-02-20T12:16:00.002+01:00

While researching the Czech word "usebrání" for a translation project, I came across a delightful article in Czech called "The Art of Making Sundays". The article mentions an old grandmother from Moravia who used to say that "Everybody should make a little bit of Sunday everyday." I was captivated by the introduction, so I started to read on...

She didn't mean Sunday as a metaphor for being lazy, for doing nothing; she meant Sunday as a special day for cleansing the soul from routine, thoughtless moments that can settle on the soul until they suffocate it. Sunday from the perspective of that grandmother from Moravia was a sort of wise spa that is applied to the soul and washes it.

And it's good to find a little bit of such a Sunday in every day. A little bit of time when the soul rests ABOVE its regular worries, when it tries to look at things it did not notice before. Looking back can also be looking ahead, as a lookback frequently brings wisdom, ideas, protection (like a driver looking into the rearview mirror so that he can drive forward more safely...). Sometimes a little bit of Sunday can be enough.

But this little bit of Sunday won't happen by itself. We have to make an active effort. And it may turn out that if we do make this effort to make a little Sunday every day, we'll be able to see that this isn't a world doesn't give enough, it may turn out that we'll see that we're also living in a world of overlooked gifts...

Anyhow, how about trying living one week with a little bit of Sunday every day? Sounds good to me...

And for the sake of completion, it turns out that the Czech word from the first sentence means something like "contemplation, inner contemplation reflection, self-reflection, recollection...". Quite fitting :-)

The three keys to health

2011-02-08T09:53:00.000+01:00

I was just going over the many notes I've made over the past several years on human happiness, and I found Dan Millman's "Three Keys to Health" as some of the most important stuff I have ever come across. The notes are from one of Dan's seminars I attended in Prague a couple of years ago, which was definitely a good investment. I mention them here because there is a direct link to happiness - it's much easier to be happy, when we are healthy!

So here we go with Dan's three keys to health:

1) regular moderate exercise: stretch, move, breathe - your body is designed to move and needs it! People today move much less than people in the past, when physical work was much more the norm.
2) well-balanced diet: is different for everyone, we all need to find what is right for us - trust the body!
3) enough rest: getting enough sleep (ideally while its dark outside), relaxation, fun...

I'll close today's brief post with another thing Dan likes to say: "it's simple, but are you doing it"?

Homeopathy A&E - hilarious spoof

2011-02-03T11:22:00.001+01:00

Must admit I've never heard of them, but this is a funny spoof. Apparently it comes from the fourth episode of a series three of 'That Mitchell and Webb Look.'

For the record, I am for homeopathy, but only as practised by medical doctors in addition to their "standard" practice. In fact, I would only go an "alternative" practitioner if he/she has a completed medical (or similar) background. But that's just cautious and conservative me...

Making things fun can lead to positive behavior changes!

2011-01-26T15:02:00.000+01:00

So somebody in Sweden wanted more people to take the regular stairs instead of the escalator next to them. Here's how they did it:

Today I'm Gonna Try and Change the World - Johnny Reid

2010-12-20T16:09:00.000+01:00

Wow - a most wonderfully uplifting song by this Scottish born Canadian singer:

Written by Johnny Reid and Brent Maher, available on the "A Place Called Love" CD, released in 2010.

Christmas Food Court Flash Mob - a wonderful surprise for unsuspecting shoppers

2010-12-10T19:05:00.000+01:00

I must admit here that I absolutely love Christmas and this time of year, and here's one of the reasons why:

Which method or technique is best for personal growth?

2010-11-23T11:54:00.000+01:00

I've consciously dedicated the past eight years of my life to personal growth (personal development, spiritual growth, spiritual path -- whatever you want to call it...) and lots of people have been asking me which methods or techniques I have found to be the best. There is no easy answer to this question because everyone has to find what works best for them. (Believe me, there is tremendous value in the active search itself...). So instead, I'd like to highlight two characteristics that I believe such a method or technique should have:

A: it should increase the client's self-knowledge or self-awareness (Socrates: Know thyself...) with information that the client can use to take constructive action to improve whatever it is he/she wants to improve (happiness, health, flexibility...). The reason for this is simple: as soon as I know why something is happening to me, I can do something about it (conversely, I cannot do anything about something I do not know about...).

B: it should strengthen the individual's ability and willingness to make active choices about his/her behavior (one of the main reasons I like holotropic breathwork is because it does exactly this -- if I want to go deeper in the state of altered consciousness, I make the choice to breathe more intensively, and if it's too much for me at the moment, I slow down. Conversely, I am not a big fan of anything like hypnosis or past-lives therapies because they offer no such choice. Another example is the difference between PBSP vs. Family Constellations: PBSP is completely client-driven, whereas family constellations depend a lot on the input of other people that are present)

As I have written before, the best method or technique I found for my personal development is a combination of holotropic breathwork and PBSP (I've written about both of these in previous posts). I also threw in a little Rolfing for the physical body and over the course of about 3-5 years this personal growth cocktail has improved my life immensely. What are or will be the ingredients of your personal growth mix?

The best is yet to come

2010-11-18T14:39:00.001+01:00

I definitely count myself among the optimists as far as the future of our planet and of the human race is concerned, so I really enjoyed the article called "The best is yet to come" by Jurriann Kamp, which was recently published in the Intelligent Optimist Newsletter.

Here is the start of the article - if you would like to read more, just click on the article title above...

Humankind continuously exceeds its own expectations when it comes to the development of new technology. However, we are really bad at one thing—predicting that development. And that’s a problem that leads to a lot of unnecessary pessimism. For example, in almost all future scenarios of climate change, clean and renewable energy advances little by little. As a result, the earth keeps getting warmer and warmer. But these kinds of scenarios are always based on known facts. Yet, as history shows, it is the unknown that revolutionizes the world again and again.

Some interesting thoughts about our perception

2010-10-28T14:09:00.000+02:00

PERCEPTION

> . . . Something To Think About . . .
> THE SITUATION
> In Washington , DC , at a Metro Station, on a cold January morning in 2007, a man with a violin played six Bach pieces for about 45 minutes. During that time, approximately 2,000 people went through the station, most of them on their way to work. After about 3 minutes, a middle-aged man noticed that there was a musician playing. He slowed his pace and stopped for a few seconds, and then he hurried on to meet his schedule.
> About 4 minutes later:
> The violinist received his first dollar. A woman threw money in the hat and, without stopping, continued to walk.
> At 6 minutes:
> A young man leaned against the wall to listen to him, then looked at his watch and started to walk again.
> At 10 minutes:
> A 3-year old boy stopped, but his mother tugged him along hurriedly. The kid stopped to look at the violinist again, but the mother pushed hard and the child continued to walk, turning his head the whole time. This action was repeated by several other children, but every parent - without exception - forced their children to move on quickly.
> At 45 minutes:
> The musician played continuously. Only 6 people stopped and listened for a short while. About 20 gave money but continued to walk at their normal pace. The man collected a total of $32.

> After 1 hour:
> He finished playing and silence took over. No one noticed and no one applauded. There was no recognition at all.
> No one knew this, but the violinist was Joshua Bell, one of the greatest musicians in the world. He played one of the most intricate pieces ever written, with a violin worth $3.5 million dollars. Two days before, Joshua Bell sold-out a theater in Boston where the seats averaged $100 each to sit and listen to him play the same music.
> This is a true story. Joshua Bell, playing incognito in the D.C. Metro Station, was organized by the Washington Post as part of a social experiment about perception, taste and people's priorities.

> This experiment raised several questions:
> *In a common-place environment, at an inappropriate hour, do we perceive beauty?
> *If so, do we stop to appreciate it?
> *Do we recognize talent in an unexpected context?
> One possible conclusion reached from this experiment could be this:
> If we do not have a moment to stop and listen to one of the best musicians in the world, playing some of the finest music ever written, with one of the most beautiful instruments ever made . . .
> How many other things are we missing as we rush through life?

(if anyone knows who wrote this, please let me know, I'd love to give the credit where the credit is due)

The 4 rules of Reiki for a happy life

2010-09-16T16:25:00.001+02:00

A couple of weeks ago I was watching a television program about healers and the various techniques they use, and the moderator asked a Reiki master the following question: "What if I came to you and said that I have no health problems, but I am not happy - what would you tell me?" The Reiki master smiled, said that it's a difficult question and told him that there are four rules for happiness. And he added that the best part is that one doesn't have to live by these rules at any time in the future, or even tomorrow, today is enough :-)
So here they are:

On this day, live without anger.
On this day, live without rushing.
On this day, honestly perform you work.
On this day, delight in God's creations, in your own life.

Oh, and the Reiki master added one more thing - the rules are simple, but oh so complicated :-)

Nimm dir Zeit (Take the time...) - some wisdom from the mountains

2010-09-09T10:52:00.001+02:00

This past weekend my girlfriend and I explored the beautiful nature of the Austrian Alps, specifically the lovely town of Wagrain. One of the days we stopped for lunch at a mountain top restaurant, and on the cover of this restaurant's menu was a lovely poem called Nimm dir Zeit (Take the time), which I want to share here in my rudimentary German to English translation. I hope you like it as much as we did (and if anyone knows the author, please let me know!!):

     Take the time

     Take the time to work, it is the price of success.
     Take the time to think, it is the source of strength.
     Take the time to play, it is the secret of youth.
     Take the time to read, it is the foundation of wisdom.
     Take the time to be friendly, it is the door to happiness.
     Take the time to dream, it is the way to the stars.

The 10/10/80 rule of happiness

2010-07-20T16:56:00.002+02:00

One of the biggest mistakes, I think, that "happiness searchers" make is that we think we should be happy 100% of the time. Not only is this an unattainable goal, but being happy 100% of the time would probably be unhealthy as well. (I am also reminded of a statement I quoted a few months ago on this blog, which went something like this: "If you were happy 100% of the time, how would you actually know you're happy?")

Over the weekend, while reading the Czech popular magazine called Reflex, I ran across a quote by a noted psychotherapist, who said that a psychologically healthy person should be sad 10% of waking hours, upset 10% of waking hours, and happy and satisfied 80% of waking hours. I am not sure to what extent this is supported by research, or how other psychologists would react to this, but I think the idea that we should actually be sad or upset twenty percent of the time is a pretty good one.

Of course, this split should be taken more metaphorically, rather than aiming to actually have 10/10/80 every day. But I really do find it to be a good guideline, one that can help us be more fully human, which, at the end of the day, is where the search for happiness should take us.

Everything's amazing & Nobody's happy

2010-06-28T15:00:00.002+02:00

I love this video of Louis C.K. on the Conan O'Brien show. Somewhat reminds me of my "It's amazing what all works in our society" post a couple of months ago...

The importance of boredom in our lives, OR, "Why I returned my iPad" - by Peter Bregman

2010-06-26T10:29:00.003+02:00

For several weeks now, I've been meaning to write a post here about the important role that boredom plays in our lives, but couldn't find the right way to express the ideas I wanted to say. Then yesterday a friend of mine posted a blog post from the Harvard Business Review on Facebook, and voila, everything was expressed absolutely perfectly right in the article called "Why I returned my iPad". Here's a little snippet:

Being bored is a precious thing, a state of mind we should pursue. Once boredom sets in, our minds begin to wander, looking for something exciting, something interesting to land on. And that's where creativity arises.

My best ideas come to me when I am unproductive. When I am running but not listening to my iPod. When I am sitting, doing nothing, waiting for someone. When I am lying in bed as my mind wanders before falling to sleep. These "wasted" moments, moments not filled with anything in particular, are vital.

They are the moments in which we, often unconsciously, organize our minds, make sense of our lives, and connect the dots. They're the moments in which we talk to ourselves. And listen.

To lose those moments, to replace them with tasks and efficiency, is a mistake. What's worse is that we don't just lose them. We actively throw them away

To read the full article by Peter Bregman, click here.

And in the meantime I wish everyone a little bit of boredom in their lives too!

The Secret Powers of Time - a very interesting 10 minute presentation

2010-06-15T18:20:00.001+02:00

I thoroughly enjoyed this video presentation by Professor Philip Zombardo on how different perspectives of time influence our work, health and well-being. And I would add happiness as well. Enjoy:

It's amazing what all works in our society

2010-05-17T16:42:00.001+02:00

Every day we are bombarded by the media with bad news, but have you ever stopped to think about everything that's working as it should, at least most of the time?

If it's cold outside, we can turn on the heat in our home or car just at the touch of a button. When we need water, we just turn a tap and it's there -- we can even choose if we prefer hot, warm or cold. Electricity to power all of our appliances comes to our homes, as do signals carrying telephone and/or Internet services. We can even access those almost anywhere we want. I am not even mentioning television or radio broadcasting signals - well, actually I am :-)

When we need to get from A to B, we can take a bicycle, car or public transportation. If we need to cross the ocean, we can take an airplane or a ship. When our car starts running out of gas, we drive to the nearest refuelling station and we fill up. If the gas station runs out of gas, a big truck comes and delivers more gas. If there is a problem with our car, we go to the nearest service and they can usually fix the problem pretty quickly.

When we get hungry, we can go to the store -- which is usually pretty well stocked -- and buy whatever we crave and cook ourselves a delicious meal. Or we can go to a restaurant and let ourselves be served. If we don't feel well, we can go to a doctor. If we have any kind of problem, odds are pretty good that there is someone specializing in that particular problem who can help us. If...

I could go on and on, but I think you get my point - sometimes it's very useful to stop and think about everything that is working well around us. Because most of the time most of the things are working so well that we don't even notice them. And noticing them can go a long way towards increasing joy and happiness in our lives...

Let's learn from the things we do well!

2010-04-20T16:50:00.001+02:00

Most of us have heard that we need to learn from our mistakes. Which is of course true, although one could debate what a mistake really is (I've heard there are some aboriginal tribes that don't have a word for "mistake" and the closest word they have means something like "opportunity" - I like that line of thinking!)

But what I wanted to write about today is that we should also make the conscious effort to learn from the things we do well, from our successes! Because our minds are so conditioned toward negative thinking (which is simply because hundreds of thousands of years ago negative thinking equalled survival - it was better to see that roaring bear as something negative and run away rather than try to look for the positives in it - a general mind set that is still predominant today, even though it's no longer so necessary), we need to make the conscious effort to really notice the things we do well (even small things) and learn from them.

So the next time you do something well, take the time to reflect on it, pat yourself on the back, and make a list of some of the lessons you learned. Not only will you get to know yourself better (think Aristotle and "know thyself"), but you'll also start conditioning your mind to focus less on the negative and more on the positive - a very useful strategy on the path to putting more joy and happiness into your life!

Average Time Spent Being Happy Drops To 13 Seconds Per Day

2010-04-16T17:36:00.002+02:00

Interesting article on The Onion today:

April 16, 2010 | ISSUE 46•15

BERKELEY, CA—A study published in the latest issue of the Journal Of Social Sciences revealed that the amount of time spent being happy has dropped to an all-time low of 13 nonconsecutive seconds per day. "According to our data, the average American experiences a 0.8-second window of happiness upon awakening, before remembering that they're conscious beings in a relentlessly bleak and numbing world," said Dr. Derek Moore, lead author of the paper. "Other periods of happiness include 1.9 seconds after a good meal; 0.6 seconds upon receiving a paycheck; 1.1 seconds following completion of a scientific study; and the 2.5 seconds approaching orgasm, just before the guilt sets in." Researchers also recorded the smallest period of contentment yet, a 3.7-millisecond interval preceding the realization that one was experiencing happiness and that it could not possibly last.
----

Btw, just in case you don't know, The Onion is an online "newspaper" specializing in satire. But I find that there is a little bit of truth in every bit of humour...

If you want to sing out, sing out

2010-04-13T13:06:00.001+02:00

Cool classic tune by the legendary Cat Stevens that fits in well here...

The Lost Generation

2010-03-24T21:16:00.001+01:00

Many of you have probably seen this video, but I just saw it today for the first time after receiving the link in a newsletter from Dan Millman. I've got not much else to say other than enjoy the video if you haven't seen yet (and if by any chance you're not familiar with Dan Millman, one of my favourite books of all time is The Way of the Peacefull Warrior -- Google Dan and/or the book if you're not familiar with him or haven't read the book :-)

Lessons from the Continuum Concept - Lesson 1

2010-02-24T17:45:00.000+01:00

In an earlier post I mentioned that I really enjoyed reading a couple of interviews with Jean Liedloff, author of the Continuum Concept. Well I finally read this 1975 classic and it has skyrocketed right into the top three on my "happiness literature" chart. The book has provided me with so much insight and inspiration that I have decided to do a small series on some of the lessons from this book. So without further ado, here we go with lesson #1:

The time we spend en route to a destination is equally valuable to the time we spend at the destination after we have arrived

Jean has a great story in the book about how she was helping the Yequana indians carry some of their load back to their village and how she felt that she was slowing them down. But suddenly she realized the indians didn't feel at all that she was slowing them down because they consider the time en route equally valuable to the time at the destination. Jean then makes the point of how much tension she felt released when she realized this.

When you think about it, this is brilliant. For some reason we in western society treat the time en route to somewhere as "inferior time". But that's nonsense, that's just our ego getting in the way, along with all the "we have to be productive" thinking we've picked up in our lives. I've tried incorporating this thinking into my life during the past few weeks and it does makes an incredible difference in living an even happier, more relaxed life. How about experimenting with this for a couple of weeks as well to see what it does to your life?

Cute video of a friendship between an orangutan and a hound dog

2010-01-31T18:42:00.002+01:00

Find more videos like this on www.truveo.com.

Happiness from the perspective of Evolutionary Psychology

2010-01-29T11:10:00.003+01:00

Just came across an interesting paper in the Journal of Happiness Studies, called Happiness from the perspective of Evolutionary Psychology. The author is Bjorne Grinde and you can download the paper here. Here are some of the points it makes that I found interesting:

The human capacity for positive and negative feelings is shaped by the forces of evolution
Happiness, in the present meaning, appears to be not so much a feature shaped explicitly by the evolutionary process, but rather an indirect consequence of human nature (For the record, I disagree with this, as I believe happiness is built into us by evolution as one of the mechanisms for ensuring survival of our species and life in general on our planet)
The brain is designed to induce us to take some chances, otherwise we would never have laid down a large prey or ventured into uncharted land; but it is also designed to stop us from causing harm to ourselves, that is, to avoid hazards. (Reminds me of the car analogy of human beings -- we have both a gas pedal as well as a brake pedal)
Engaging the mind and body in tasks for which they are designed is expected to promote happiness by instigating positive feelings (for example that's why we feel good when we move, which is why regular exercise is such a good idea :-)
There are, for example, data indicating that humans thrive better, and improve in cognitive tasks, in the presence of plants (I can personally confirm this one! :-)

The paper also touches on an aspect that I have already discussed a little bit in the post on the Continuum Concept as well as PBSP -- when babies are born, they have innate expectations regarding needs that they need to have met. And when these needs are not met, problems arise later in adulthood, such as various neuroses, negative tendencies, pessimism, etc. According to the paper, possible examples of such needs include the amount of skin to skin contact, the large number of strangers we interact with, restrictions on play behaviour (particularly on ‘rough-and-tumble’ play), and sleep patterns associated with shift work.

Well, this was just a very brief overwiew of a most interesting paper. For those interested in reading more about happiness from the point of view of evolution, I highly recommend downloading it (it's free!) and giving it a thorough read.

STOP IT!

2010-01-26T10:11:00.001+01:00

Just came across a funny "client - psychiatrist" skit that definitely has a great deal of truth to it.

So is there anything in your life that if you stopped doing it you would be a lot happier?

Joseph Campbell: To find your own way is to follow your bliss

2010-01-22T13:42:00.002+01:00

Again, I don't think much more needs to be added to this:

Are you happy?

2010-01-20T08:51:00.002+01:00

Sometimes things can be really simple. I don't think much needs to be added to this:

PS: If anyone knows who should get credit for this picture, please let me know...

Why I am against "goal setting"; and my personal "general direction" statement

2010-01-15T11:35:00.005+01:00

One of the recommendations that keeps appearing in success, happiness, motivation... self-help liturature is to set goals. Well I have to say that after seven years of studying happiness I have come to the conclusion that goal setting is counter-productive to living a life with more happiness and joy. Does nature set goals? I make this point about nature because

In all the studies of happiness, the planet’s happiest people always turn out to be the people living in the way closest to that of wild ancestral humans - modern day hunter-gatherers, living contented lives on islands, fishing and lounging about. The most miserable people on Earth appear to be the Japanese, and it is surely no coincidence that their way of life is the furthest removed from nature.

I paradoxically took this quote from an essay called "Why we can't find lasting happiness", which you can read here. (And yes, even though it is a very interesting essay, I do disagree with its main claims :-)

But returning to why I am against goal-setting. In my opinion goal-setting leads to too much focus on the goals themselves, judging success based on whether the goal is attained or not, and missing other opportunities that arise -- but we don't see -- while we're pursuing the set goals. In short, goal-setting takes us away from "flowing along with the natural tides of life, actively adapting where necessary or creating where we want to...", which I find to be the best way to live (if we make the conscious decision to live a happier life with more joy...).

Instead of goals, I prefer having a "general direction" or "general directions" in life. For example, one of my general directions is to "inspire people in western civilization to do less and enjoy more", or, to borrow from Jon Kabat Zinn, "inspire people to actually be more like human 'beings', instead of human 'doings'". I will write more about this at some point in 2010...

It's Friday, so it's time for a... Positive Pause

2010-01-08T11:06:00.002+01:00

I came across this site about ten years ago and I still occassionaly go there if I need to take a five minute relaxation break:

Positive Pause

Enjoy!

Allowing human nature to work successfully - Jean Liedloff and The Continuum Concept

2010-01-04T17:45:00.002+01:00

During the holidays I finally had a chance to slowly read two articles about Jean Liedloff and her Continuum Concept that I had been meaning to read for a long time. For those that do not know her work, Jean spent a lot of time with indigenous people in South America and based on her observations developed fascinating theories about human nature and raising of children, which she summarized in her book "the Continuum Concept".

After reading both of the articles about five times, I have to say that I have rarely come across words with which I have agreed so completely. It's like she's explaining things about happiness that I have intuited for a long time, yet couldn't express. So I highly, highly recommend everybody to read the articles, which are available here and here. But for those that would like a little sneak peak before heading over to the Continuum Concept website, here are a few highlights:

We use the word normal as though it were a synonym for natural, which it is not.
We act as though human nature were something to be afraid of, to constrain, modify or fight...
We mistrust human nature itself
Learning occurs naturally, but teaching isn't natural at all.
And much, much more fascinating stuff

In addition to the "my gosh, she's hitting the nail right on the head" feeling I had as I was reading the articles, I also noticed an amazing consistency of what she was saying with Albert Pesso's and Diane Boyden's PBSP theory and method (about which I have written here a couple of times already). Two of the most striking similarities, IMHO, are these:

a root cause of unhappiness (and other problems) is frequently "positive experiences that we expected as small children but did not get" (these can include touches, looks, reactions, words, and many others). PBSP works with the concept of five needs (place, nurture, support, protection, limits) that each baby expects it will have met.
another root cause of unhappiness is that sometimes children grow up subconsciously believing that their role is to provide their parents with emotional support (yet no matter how hard they try to fulfill their parent's needs, they always fail). PBSP calls this "holes in roles".

I firmly believef that anyone interested in living a happier and more satisfying life would benefit tremendously from doing some work on these two issues. And perhaps reading the two articles linked above would be a good start.

I wish everyone a most natural 2010!

Living from happiness instead of for happiness

2009-12-11T15:03:00.021+01:00

A few days ago, while using my favorite online service -- philosophersnotes.com (more on them in another post) -- I came across the summary of a book called "Happy for no reason" (written by Marci Shimoff with Carol Kline). There is one sentence in that book that absolutely perfectly describes what I believe to be the best philosophy on life:

Living from happiness instead of for happiness

That right there is what I believe our planet needs the most - more people living from happiness instead of for happiness. And combining that with my favorite quote from the Dalai Lama

The meaning of life is to be happy and to be useful

gives the recipe for a fantastic life. I firmly believe that it's no accident the Dalai Lama puts 'happy' before 'useful' and I also firmly believe that he means 'be useful from happiness' (and not for happiness.)

And how can we become happier so that we truly start living from happiness? Well, reading Marci Shimoff's book is probably a very good way to start.

Although I disagree slightly with one fundamental assumption she works with. She says something like that 50% of our happiness set-point is genetic and cannot be changed, 10% comes from external circumstances that are hard to change (and that most people spend most of their energy on trying to change), and 40% comes from what we do and think (our habits, thoughts, actions...). I fully agree with the 10+40% assumptions and she gives fantastic advice on how to improve our happiness set-point by working with the habits and actions 40%.

But I humbly disagree that 50% of our happiness set-point is genetic and cannot be changed. While some of our happiness set-point may be genetic and unchangeable, I believe that it is possible to go deep into our subconscious minds and do a great deal of healing work there that will impact this part of the happiness set-point. And I actually believe that this is by far the most important part of working on increasing our happiness because it is this work that provides a strong yet flexible foundation for all the other work (i.e., the aforementioned 40%). Over the past seven years I've seen this change occur in myself as well as dozens of other people to know that this is true.

So what are actually the methods or techniques for impacting this part of the happiness set-point? I have personally used a combination of holotropic breathwork and PBSP to make these changes (you can see my earlier posts on these methods). I am sure there are other methods as well. But the reason that HB and PBSP are so good is because they are the most effective methods I know of that can effectively deal with what I believe are the biggest causes of unhappiness in adult life that has no apparent cause: A) a glitch in the birth process, and B) so called 'traumas of omission' very early in life (i.e., first few seconds, minutes, hours after being born, all the way to the first one to three years of our life). I'll write about more about these two causes, which mainstream psychology / psychotherapy absolutely underestimates IMHO, in a later post.

But for now I'd like to encourage you to start living from happiness instead of for happiness and start working on ways of increasing your happiness set-point. And for those that are eager to either continue with or get going on the "useful" aspect, I'll end today with the best quote I've ever heard on finding one's calling in life:

Our true calling is where our joy meets the needs of the world

(Barbara Ernest)

2012 - Apocalypse or New Sun? - Shift of the Ages film project

2009-12-03T21:01:00.007+01:00

There is too much nonsense being spread throughout the world by the Hollywood 2012 movie. Here's another movie, with a different point of view - one that I like much better...

Check out http://www.shiftoftheages.com/ for more.

Demystifying holotropic breathwork

2009-11-30T18:30:00.010+01:00

In the past week I spent two days assisting with holotropic breathwork sessions. These sessions enabled me to observe how incredibly powerful this healing method is. Yet at the same time, some negative articles have appeared in the press at around the same time regarding this technique. So the following blog entry is dedicated to demystifying some of the fiction that seems to be surrounding holotropic breathwork (HB):

Expectations: There seem to be overblown expectations of what HB is and what it can do. Some people expect that they'll be taken on a wild trip into the transpersonal realm of the human psyche, full of colourful images, meetings with God and answers to all questions. Others expect that one HB session will cure their addictions, neuroses or whatever problem they are dealing with. While all of this can happen, it is generally not the case. And it virtually never happens in the first session. My advice -- as someone that has "breathed" at HB sessions at least 20x (over the course of seven years) and that has assisted at several sessions as well -- would be to try to have no expectations and use the first session as a "getting-to-know altered states of consciousness" session. I also like the advice that it's good to experience at least 3 sessions before making up one's mind about HB, because each session is so different - all of my 20 sessions have certainly been different.

Session leader: This is probably the most important point and I can't stress this enough. Only attend and breathe at sessions that are lead by highly experienced pracitioners that have been certified by the Grof Transpersonal Training Program! There are too many people out there that attended a couple sessions and then began leading their own sessions. This is dangerous as these people are not trained to properly handle all of the situations that can occur. Officialy trained practioners are obligated to provide a 3-4 hour presentation about HB, which must be attended by all persons before they are allowed to "breathe" at a session. My advice would be to definitely attend this initial presentation and only proceed with attendance at the actual breathing session if you have a good feeling about the practitioner based on the initial presentation. And if no such initial presentation is offered, run far away! :-)

At the end of this post I would like to express my opinion that when lead by the right people, holotropic breathwork is a perfectly safe and wonderful method of self-discovery. It makes it possible to put aside our usual assumptions, habits, roles and social masks, explore our psyche, discover new parts of us and integrate these parts into our lives. This makes us more complete as human beings and in turn more happy, which brings to mind Carl Jung's famous quote: "strive not to be perfect, strive to be complete!"

For more information about Holotropic Breathwork, please visit its official website.

A little something from the Upanishads...

2009-11-30T16:35:00.007+01:00

I was waiting for the bus today and noticed a beautiful poster for meditation lessons. On it was a quote from the Upanishads, which I just have to share here:

Smaller than the smallest, larger than the largest soul breathes in the hidden heart of man. Many, though they hear of the Self in the lotus of the heart, do not understand it. Wonderful is he who speaks of it. Intelligent is he who learns of it. Blessed is he who, taught by a good teacher, is able to identify with it.

Here's to all the great teachers out there and here's wishing that anyone who is searching finds the right teacher for them! I've certainly been blessed to have amazing teachers in my life and I'd certainly encourage anyone to search for the right teacher. They're definitely out there.

My top three happiness habits

2009-11-29T17:24:00.003+01:00

Yesterday a friend of mine asked me what I thought were the three most important "happiness habits". I found the question so intriguing that I decided I would answer it on this blog :-)

Obviously I -- and nobody else, for that matter -- can say what the three definitive happiness habits are. But what I can say is what the top three are for me - at least at this stage of my life. So here we go, in no particular order:

1) The DAILY BAG exercise! It consists of asking and answering the following three questions:

what are some of my blessings? (what am I grateful for in my life?)
what are some of my accomplishments? (what am I really proud of in my life?)
what are my goals, dreams, ambitions? (for today, this month, next five years?)

This exercise comes from the book "The psychology of winning" by Dr. Denis Waitley, and I like this daily exercise so much that I do it at least once a week :-) Personally for me, I find that it's reminding myself of the things that I am grateful for that has the greatest impact on my happiness.

2) Regular daily exercise or movement routine. Every morning I make sure that I get at least five minutes of my favorite physical exercises before continuing with the rest of my day. If possible, I try to get in at least 10 or 15 minutes. What I think is important is experimenting with and discovering a routine that works well. For some such a routine can be based on yoga, others may prefer one based on martial arts. I like to base about 70% of my daily exercise routine on Dan Millman's "Peaceful Warrior Workout" and I flexibly add the other 30% based on however I am feeling that morning. I also think that even if you can do just one minute, than it's worth doing. As Dan says, "one minute every day is a lot better than an hour zero times per week" (or something like that :-)

And if anyone's interested, this routine is a part of my larger "start the day right" routine, which also consists of a meditation, hot/cold shower and at least one piece of fruit for breakfast. I think such a "start the day right" routine is extremely useful, but likely somewhat different for everyone - experiment, experiment, experiment.

3) And finally, I am not sure it this last one is a habit -- perhaps it's more of a principle -- but I find it so important that I want to include it here: Recognize that being happy means being generally happy, and not all the time happy. I am not sure who said it, but "if we were happy all the time, how would we know?". I personally have the feeling that there is a general consensus in society that we have to be happy all the time, otherwise something is wrong. Well I don't buy that. I don't think there is anything wrong at all if we are unhappy, sad or angry once a in a while. In fact, I actually think that being unhappy, sad or angry occasionaly is a sign that we're healthy! It's all about what feelings predominate our lives, and that feeling should hopefully be happiness. I've found that approaching life in this way releases a lot of pressure and, lo and behold, increases the percentage of time that I am happy, AND increases the intensity of this happiness.

Well, I could write about this for hours, but I think I'll stop here. After all, blog entries should be brief. But enough about me. What are your top three happiness habits?

Some breathtaking art for the sometimes gloomy autumn days

2009-10-29T13:12:00.017+01:00

Yesterday and Sunday I saw two amazing art exhibitions. The first one was a retrospective exhibit -- as well as a probe of the soul -- of perhaps the most famous Czech painter, Josef Capek (brother of Karel Capek, the man who gave us the word Robot in the play R.U.R.). I was absolutely blown away by the range of the man's work and by the range of the emotions he was able to express on the canvas - from the pure joy of a child at play all the way to the fear and anxiety of an adult during a war. The exhibit takes place until January 17 at the Prague Castle so if anyone is in the area during this time, I highly recommend visiting it.

And yesterday we went to see the Impressionism exhibit that is now being held at the Albertina Museum in Vienna. If I say that the Josef Capek exhibit was a probe into the soul of a man, then the Impressionism exhibit is a probe into the soul of the impressionist style, which is my favourite painting style. I like impressionism so much because the impressionists were the first painters to find the courage to abandon efforts to depict reality as precisely as possible and instead they tried to convey a feeling with their work. They were also the first ones to step out of the studio and into actual nature to paint their paintings. Of course at first they were heavily criticized, but they perservered and as a result ended up producing some of the most breathtaking art of all time.

And as a sort of bonus, not only does this exhibition present some breathtaking paintings from the likes of Monet, Renoir or Van Gogh, but it also presents fascinating insights into how they went about their work. This exhibition is on until January 10, I believe, so if you're in the Vienna area at any time between now and then, I again highly recommend visiting it.

But even if you will not be anywhere near Prague or Vienna in the next couple of months, perhaps there is an interesting art exhibit somewhere near your home. Especially in the sometimes gloomy autumn days viewing beautiful works of art can have a tremendously positive impact on our mood and optimism. At least it certainly works that way for me. Happy art seeing!

A little bit of adrenalin...

2009-10-09T07:49:00.002+02:00

It's time for another Friday "from the lighter side" video. I'd never do something like this, but it's sure fun to watch:

The source of unlimited happiness is INSIDE each one of us

2009-09-15T17:40:00.005+02:00

The July 20th issue of the Czech magazine Respekt brought a very interesting interview with renowned Czech psychologist and psychotherapist Lubomir Kobrle. The final question was about what chances a person has to attain full satisfaction in life. Kobrle's answer is one that speaks straight from my heart too: "Each being has an internal source in it that makes it possible for the being to be happy. And the question is whether one is successful in activating this source or not, which is a somewhat mysterious matter."

I love that quote and I personally believe that every being on Earth has the source of unlimited happiness right inside him or her. Yet paradoxically most of us do so much looking outside of ourselves for happiness - just take a look at how well the entertainment, pharmaceutical, tobacco and alcohol industries, just to name a few, are doing. But how do we begin looking inward and how do we activate this source?

Kobrle offers the following suggestions: "work on oneself, psychotherapy, important meetings with people...", "...also experiences during altered states of consciousness during holotropic breathwork." In short, begin by searching inwards, ideally with the guidance of someone who has plenty of experience in this type of work. Btw, earlier in this blog I had written that PBSP is one of the techniques that has totally transformed my life. Well, now I'd like to add that Holotropic Breathwork is the other technique. I am planning to write about this amazing technique soon. Meanwhile you may wish to check out its official website. Or read my posts on TaKeTiNa, Rolfing, Drama Triangle or Dynamind - all techniques that I have found extremely useful on the journey towards unlimited happiness.

I wish you much insight and joy on your journey towards the inner source of unlimited happiness!

Great things are sometimes built on simple but solid foundations

2009-09-13T20:09:00.003+02:00

I love the video below. It contains several messages I really like, including the one in the title of this post. I also love the power of Wintley's presentation style!

Brilliant presentation on the excesses of Western culture

2009-09-10T10:44:00.003+02:00

The link to this video came in Dan Millman's e-newsletter today and I liked it so much that I want to repost it here. Startling statistics, brilliant presentation. Even though the presentation is specific to the United States, I am quite sure it is applicable to virtually the entire Western world.

Manifestation of a mature personality

2009-08-31T15:56:00.004+02:00

I came across a wonderful few sentences while waiting at a doctor's office in Prague today. They were in Czech, so the words below are my translation of them. I believe I am coming along on some of the ideas, but I still need to do a lot work on all of them. Like letting go more and more of the safety of seclusion or being more kind towards my own as well as others’ imperfections. Which ones do you need to work on most? May these words be a useful reminder from time to time.

A mature personality manifests itself by:

A warm relationship with oneself (self-acceptance) as well as things outside of the self.
Willingness to “expose” oneself to others and let go of the safety of seclusion.
Participating in the forming of close, intimate, kind-hearted relationships.
Openess to the differences of various worlds in which “the others” live.
Understanding for ourselves as well as others.
Tolerance of the incomprehensible in others.
Kindness towards our own as well as others’ imperfections.
Patience with our own as well as others’ limits.
Searching for ways that provide opportunities to meet with ourselves as well as others.

Original text by Tereza Kocourková

TaKeTiNa: learn to relax in chaos by reconnecting with primal rhythms

2009-08-05T20:23:00.005+02:00

One of the most interesting personal growth practices that I have tried is the TaKeTiNa Rhythm Process, which is an amazing technique designed to allow us to reconnect with primal rhythms. Of all the practices I have tried, this is the one I wish I knew of back when I was trying my hand at becoming a professional tennis player. The reason is that everytime I used to get into a stressful situation in a match, I would tighten up, try harder, and as a result play worse. What TaKeTiNa does, in my opinion, is program the body for the opposite reaction: try less, relax in the stress or chaos, and become much more effective.
So how does this method work? According to the official website,

"TaKeTiNa is a unique process capable of activating human and musical potential through rhythm. TaKeTiNa conveys rhythm in such a way that people can absorb, understand, and learn in the most natural manner. Instead of being taught random rhythmic patterns, TaKeTiNa guides its participants directly into the experience of primal rhythmic movements-that are anchored in the sensory-motoric system of every human being. This underlying rhythmic foundation expresses itself through music in every culture. In TaKeTiNa, the body is the main instrument. The experience is therefore direct, intense and lasting."

So if you're feeling that learning how to relax in chaos could be beneficial for your personal growth and / or happiness journey, I highly recommend that you check out the TaKeTiNa website, learn more about the process, and sign up for the next workshop taking place in your area. May the rhythm be with you!

Positive affirmations make some people feel worse

2009-07-28T15:44:00.011+02:00

There is a great article on Macleans.ca titled "The powerlessness of positive thinking - Self-affirming statements actually make some people feel worse". The article presents research supporting the thesis that positive thinking is not as effective in improving self-esteem as some popular self-help authors would like readers to believe. I fully agree with the researchers that "focusing on positive thinking" is not the way to increase self-esteem or become happier. I believe that this is because a positive affirmation addresses the present, whereas the low esteem or tendency to think negatively is rooted in the past, usually the deep past.
Personally I've seen my self-esteem increase with the use of PBSP, about which I've written in an earlier post. And I believe that the reason PBSP works is precisely because it deals with self-esteem or negative thinking at the time when the roots of the issues begin - usually between the ages of 0-3.
Returning to the article, I do not agree with the researchers' statement that "...if you can find a loving, supportive partner that’s probably the best possibility for your self-esteem". In fact, I think that's a bit of a dangerous statement because that would make one's self esteem conditional on something, or someone, else. And like happiness, I believe you can't have self-esteem dependent on anything outside of yourself. In addition, increased self-esteem because of a partner could also lead to all kinds of co-dependency issues in a relationship, as per the Drama Triangle, also discussed in an earlier post.

I'll be on a fully off-line vacation until July 5

2009-06-11T12:40:00.002+02:00

Just a brief note that I will be on vacation from tomorrow until July 5. Since I firmly believe that vacation should be fully off-line, I will not make any posts until I return. In the meantime I would like to encourage you to have as much off-line time as possible (no Internet, cell phones...), even if it's just for a few hours on a Sunday. Have a great June and I'll look forward to posting more happiness and joy inspiration in early July.

Release energy by exiting roles in the Drama Triangle

2009-06-10T20:17:00.005+02:00

One of the biggest ways through which we lose energy in our life is by playing different kinds of roles, oftentimes unconsciously. And one of the best tools for releasing ourselves from such role playing and freeing up tons of energy is the Drama Triangle.
Originally created by the psychotherapist Stephen Karpman, the Drama Triangle describes dysfunction that we frequently fall into in our relationships by playing the roles of Victim, Persecutor or Rescuer. Most of us have a tendency to gravitate towards one of these roles, but at one point or another we play them all. (Btw, we can also play these roles in the relationship we have with ourselves).
There are many good descriptions on the Internet of how the triangle works, with my favourite being this one. Most importantly, the site provides not only a good overview of how the triangle dynamic works, but also talks about how to avoid getting into it and how to get out of it once we recognize that we are in it. Recognizing when we are playing one of the roles is the first and most important step.
The book called "The Power of TED" also has a very interesting section on the triangle, calling it the Dreaded Drama Triangle. The author, David Emerald, offers a slightly different approach to getting out of the triangle, so you may wish to check that out as well. If you prefer a video seminar approach, there are also several videos on YouTube that you can find by simply searching for "Drama Triangle".

Restructure your body with Rolfing Structural Integration

2009-06-04T13:33:00.009+02:00

A well functioning body can be a great help on our happiness journey, and one of the most beneficial things I've ever had done to my body is Rolfing Structural Integration, or "Rolfing" for short. I've had at least 15 Rolfing sessions and I am still amazed at the results. I am not sure how many of you have ever heard of Rolfing, so here is a short description from the official website of the Rolf Institute:

"Rolfing is ... a form of bodywork that reorganizes the connective tissues, called fascia, that permeate the entire body. More than fifty years ago, Dr. Rolf recognized that the body is inherently a system of seamless networks of tissues rather than a collection of separate parts. These connective tissues surround, support and penetrate all of the muscles, bones, nerves and organs. Rolfing works on this web-like complex of connective tissues to release, realign and balance the whole body. Essentially, the Rolfing process enables the body to regain the natural integrity of its form, thus enhancing postural efficiency and your freedom of movement."

So if you feel that your body could use some complete restructuring, head on over to the Rolfing Institute's website, read some more about this technique, and, if you're beginning to feel like it may be something for you, use the "Find a Rolfer" feature and book an introductory session. Your body just may thank you :-)

Addiction to comfort in the Western Society

2009-06-01T13:32:00.002+02:00

I really believe that one of the biggest addictions of modern Western Society is what I call "addiction to comfort". I also believe that this addiction is one of the blocks that prevents us from being as happy as we could be.

Just consider the comfort humans have had throughout history in comparison to the comfort we are experiencing in our lives today. We have food, water, heat, dry clothes, means of communication, transportation, entertainment, etc., at our finger tips basically all the time. Then consider how irritated we get when something from that list does not work the way we think it should . I think anyone who lived even only a hundred years ago would have a good laugh at some of the things we call problems today.

In my opinion the best first step towards releasing ourselves from this addiction is to start being aware of it. Then there are also conscious practices we can do in order to begin learning how to relax in situations that are not that comfortable for us. One of the best practices for doing this is fasting. If we can remain relaxed and comfortable while hungry, it will carry over to other aspects of our lives. Another great practice is taking a cold shower every day, ideally in the morning and evening. Again, if we can learn to relax in the cold shower, this will expand our comfort zone for discomfort. A third tip is leaving the car at home and walking to where we want to go whenever possible. I am sure you can also come up with many practices of your own.

I wish you success in your efforts to become more comfortable with being less comfortable :-)

-----

One note on fasting. Even though it is a very beneficial practice for many reasons, it is not for everyone. There are many good sites on the Internet about fasting, which I highly recommend checking out before beginning a fast. Also, if you have any doubts about whether fasting is for you, speak to your doctor first. And finally, never do a fast for weight loss purposes -- it is not a sustainable way of keeping weight down!

A scientific look at the top 10 recommendations for happiness in New Age books

2009-05-30T07:29:00.004+02:00

In an interesting twist, in September 2008 the Journal of Happiness Studies took a scientific look at the top 10 recommendations provided in New Age books for increasing happiness. In an article called New age advice: ticket to happiness?, which you can download for free from their site here, the author -- Maarten C. Berg -- first presents the top ten list. To save you time, here are the recommendations, in no particular order:

Become spiritual
Be authentic
Know yourself
Connect to the world
Meditate
Think positively
Take control
Live healthily
Live simply
Follow your gut feelings

Next, the author "considers the probable effects on happiness of these, by examining both the theoretical plausibility and the empirical conditions of happiness."

And finally, the author concludes that "that several recommendations are likely to produce beneficial consequences...", but "...the advice will not fit everybody equally well and that some New Age practices may reduce happiness, e.g., practices that undermine a realistic outlook on reality."

So quite an interesting endeavour, in my opinion. And, btw, is your gut telling you that focusing on one or more recommendations on the list could be beneficial for you?

The magic of Daniel Chesterfield

2009-05-29T17:02:00.003+02:00

It's Friday, so something from the "Lighter side" category today. You may know the magic of David Copperfield, but do you know the magic of Daniel Chesterfield?

Enhancing joy and happiness with the Dynamind Technique

2009-05-28T14:28:00.009+02:00

One of the most interesting "solo" practices that I have discovered in recent years is called " Dynamind". According to its creator, Serge Kahili King, "The Dynamind Technique, or DMT, is a safe, easy, fast, and effective method of healing based on a special blend of words, touch, breath and, sometimes, imagery." It is also based on the belief that all healing comes from the inside. I've used it to supplement the healing of some injuries I have had and it really does work.
But as useful as the technique is for changing "negative" things in us, it is also an amazing technique for enhancing "positive" things in us, such as joy, happiness, love or whatever else. So let's say you do a quick morning workout, take a cold shower and are feeling full of energy. That's a great time to do a couple of rounds of Dynamind to enhance the energy and joy of life and encode them deeper into the body and mind. Also great about Dynamind is that is a very flexible technique that can be adapted to almost any type of person and issue. And rounds of Dynamind can build on one another, taking you as far as you are ready to go.
So my suggestion for today would be to go to the Dynamind website, read the instructions that are provided there and give Dynamind a try. You may be surprised where it takes you...

The power of "YES AND"

2009-05-27T14:55:00.008+02:00

I don't know about you, but I was surprised to find out that there are actually rules to Improv Theater (try googling "improv theater rules" :-). And the first rule on most of the lists is called the rule of "Yes And". It simply means that an actor in an improv play should accept the information that he or she receives from the other actor(s) and build on it. This allows for energy to flow freely in the play and for great scenes to develop.
When you think about it, this is also a great rule to incorporate into "real" life. I find it very interesting to notice the different kind of energy that is produced by a "Yes And" answer in comparison, for example, to saying "Yes But". Whereas "And" seems to multiply energy, "But" seems to block the flow of energy. In fact, to me it seems that "Yes But" blocks energy almost as much as a "No" answer does.
So what if you disagree with what someone is saying or proposing. How about trying the "Yes Or" answer? "Or" seems to be a good way to reject something, while diverting energy into another direction, rather than blocking it. Anyway, try it and you'll see what works for you.
One final note for today. Many of you have probably seen the recent Jim Carrey movie "Yes man", which deals with this topic in an interesting way. If you haven't seen it, I definitely recommend checking it out.

"We are born to be happy in an imperfect world" - Albert Pesso

2009-05-25T16:30:00.009+02:00

The quote that is in the title of today's post is one of my favourite quotes by one of my favourite teachers - Albert Pesso. I like the quote so much because in my opinion it perfectly summarizes why we are on this planet. Having said that, I highly recommend going over to the PBSP website and having a look at the technique that Albert Pesso and his wife, Diane Boyden-Pesso have developed: "Pesso Boyden System Psychomotor", or "PBSP" in short. It is one of the two techniques that has totally transformed my life and I highly recommend it to everyone, regardless of where you may be on your path to happiness. I don't want to get too much into the details, because they're all on the PBSP website, but I do want to say that it is a great technique for building a solid yet flexible foundation for all of our journeys.
There are several reasons for why I like PBSP so much. First, it is a great way of getting down to the real roots of any issues that we may be facing in our lives. Second, it not only gets down to the roots, but it also provides a "corrective experience" for the issues, which makes the healing very effective. Third, it does not only consider "traumatic" experiences we may have had in the past, but it also considers and effectivelly heals "deficits" that we may have experienced in the past. And fourth, it also brings a unique concept called "Holes in roles" into the equation, which releases us from the roles that we may be playing unconsciously in our lives and that are draining huge amounts of energy from us. Speaking of "Holes in roles", I highly recommend the article that is available on this topic at the PBSP website.
So my suggestion for today would be to spend some time on the PBSP website, and then check out "Al's schedule" and see if you can attend one of the many available workshops. Or click on "PBSP International" on the left side of the website and find out if there are any PBSP workshops or practitioners in your area.

"The Open Secret" by Elizabeth Lesser

2009-05-21T08:19:00.002+02:00

There are many barriers to happiness in life. In this brief video, Elizabeth Lesser discusses one of the fundamental barriers to human happiness: that we all carry around with us an "open secret"...

About this blog and author

2009-05-21T07:35:00.007+02:00

As is evident from the title, this blog will be dedicated to human joy and happiness, especially to how each and every one of us can increase the amount of joy and happiness in his or her life and make it last. In order to accomplish this, I will discuss relevant techniques, the great teachers of this topic, various inspiring resources (books, movies, websites...), my own "principles of happiness for the 21st century" as well as anything that I believe is useful for this journey. I would also love to hear from you, the reader, what you have found useful over the long-term so that some good information exchange happens here.
The emphasis of this blog will be on openess, honesty, clarity, content and easy readability and comprehension of this content. I will do my utmost to cut out any irrelevant words, information or "flash and flair".
And why do I feel I am competent to run a blog on human joy and happiness? 11 years ago I got my MBA with a perfect 4.0 GPA after having a two year try as a professional tennis player. 10 years ago I began my career in the corporate world as a McKinsey consultant. But 6 years ago I began feeling that despite having what most of western society would call a "successful life", I wasn't happy deep inside. And some health issues began slowly creeping up as well. So I slowly began immersing myself in the psychology of joy and happiness until 3 years ago I quit the corporate world for good in order to pursue a life of joy and happiness full time. And slowly, over time, as I discovered and learned amazing things, I became happier, calmer and the health issues have gone away. So perhaps you can think of this blog as my report from this six year transformation, which, of course, is still under way and will continue until I transform into whatever comes after this life.
Of course I still have to make money in order to live life on my own terms. But I discovered that I need a lot less money than I thought. So I spend about 15 hours a week 45 weeks a year translating from Czech to English. This allows me to live comfortably and have lots of free time to pursue to pursue things I want to pursue. Like joy and happiness, among other things. And of course I still get upset, angry and frustrated at times. But I believe this is a sign of human health and all a part of the journey and learnings. So to end this post, I hope to share many of the findings that I have discovered on my journey and to inspire you to make joy and happiness the number one priority in your life. I believe you'll find it's the best decision you can ever make.